I wish i could convey the things I have been told by those that gather in the darkness I had once found myself in. To watch the sunset from a mountain cliff and wander alone through the darkness of the forest without being bothered by fear. Never being lost, always knowing the way I need to go. And yet when I'm on the course of my life I fear that what I'm doing isn't what I should be laying my hands to. How can it be that I doubt my karma, and yet at every moment I am assured that this is the course.
I open my eyes to the same dream over and over again, a man with weathered hands holds a lantern and lights my way down a dark path through a forest no moon or star could penetrate. He smiles as i rise and follow him but he remains silent. When I think I see a shorter route through the darkness and run into the darkness seeking an easy way to my sunrise, he waits patiently for my return and greets me with the same silent smile as before when I return tattered and weary. In the darkness is a figure more without form than my guide, but follows the same route. This figure speaks when I ask questions no one else can answer or when I am lied to. This figure and my guide seem to find to objection to the other, neither one more interested in my success than the other. Neither one speaks a lie or leads me astray, but lets me decide whats right. I can't say that either the one that holds the light or the one who is more a shadow than a man wants anything but my future to be happy.
But I still reluctant to dream, hide from sleep as often as I can. I fear what it is I may learn in the place I travel that others cannot. Here I gather my questions, here I gather my courage, here I find the truth, no matter how bad I wished it to be as I wanted it to be.
